The Tales of Target: Episode 7
“Sorry sir, we can’t let your son work here for free.”
Not only because child labor is illegal, but also because free child labor seems threateningly close to violating the 13th Amendment.
I stood near three other managerial-type coworkers in front of a dad and his son. The boy’s eyes fixated on the ground with his dad’s angry hand gripping his shoulder — I did not want to be him.
When I walked into the Red Edifice for my shift on this day I was quickly caught up on the newest drama before I had even reached the time clock. Evidently three young boys had taken it upon themselves to spend the night at Target. During the previous night’s close they hid themselves under baby car seat boxes until the last of our team had exited the store for the night. They were clearly no Ocean’s Eight team because they chose the one night a week we have an overnight cleaning crew, who found the boys around 2 A.M.
By this point in the story I am laughing hysterically. Eleven year old boys were able to pull off a stunt we often only joke about on the closing shift. To top it all off, security footage shows them doing absolutely nothing. I wish I was kidding. These boys are living out my dream — who doesn’t want to run wildly through Target after dark? I was almost mad that they didn’t eat all the candy they could, or try to beat my scooter time around the store. Clearly they weren’t caught up on The Tales of Target, there are plenty of wonderful ideas in the episodes.
My coworker proceeded to tell me that after the cleaning crew found them, our store director as well as the cops were called, and eventually their parents. I’m sure none of the parties involved were thrilled to be making this trip to Target (and it is so hard to mess up a Target run, too). Outside of trespassing, the boys lack of fun activities allowed them to leave the store with their parents, not in a cop car.
My shift began, and the story floated around the story, everyone loving the drama. I stood my post behind the guest service desk as a dad and his son approached. The dad nudged his son forward and without looking up from the ground the boy recited messily a clearly scripted apology. I couldn’t believe it. My hero stood before me. He was one of the boys who had been in the store that night. The dad then stepped forward asking if he could speak to our store director (who he had met in the wee hours of the morning, alongside the police officers).
A few of my bosses made their way to the service desk. Via eavesdropping, I overheard the dad asking to pawn off his son’s labor as a form of apology to us (though I’m sure it was more as punishment for his son). After a lot of debate the dad walked away defeated, as Target does not hire eleven year olds, especially not for free.
Just when I thought the whole story couldn’t get any better, I was proven wrong. When I exited the store hours later heading for home, across the parking lot from my car I saw a dad sitting on the tailgate of his truck watching his son sweep the lot. I suppose we can’t stop citizens from sweeping city property.
